Maybe not everyone knows this, or has ever thought about it, but people who have just had their child die are a little sensitive. I might enjoy hearing about your baby (or I might not, but will listen anyway because I care), but I more than likely will not want to hear you complain about how long it took her to sleep through the night. I’d give anything to have my baby here waking me up every hour, or every 10 minutes for that matter. I would happily be woken up during the night for the next 18 or 20 years if that was the price of having my child back.

And please do not tell me that you understand what I’m going through because you have had a cherished pet die. I understand that you loved your pet very much, but it just doesn’t compare. Perhaps only people who have never had a child could compare the two? Or only people who have never lost a child?

I grew her inside my body for 9 months. I went through the pain and joy of labor and birth to bring her into this world. I rocked her in my arms, and nursed her at my breast. I spent a month inside of a hospital praying she would get better. I had to watch as they took her off the machines. I held her little body as she took her last breath. I know you love your pet, but the connection between a mother and her child is (or should be) physical, and sacred, and unlike anything else in this world. And it is certainly more excruciating, in my opinion, than your pet dying.

Please, please, think about what you are going to say before you say it. A simple “I’m so sorry” would work well.

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